One of the most seriously underrated tourism highlights in world history took place, if the Evangelists are not mistaken, around 2,000 years ago today, namely the Ascension of Jesus.

Despite two millennia of history, it is easy to see that this event marked the launch of a new fad—travel—to which the well-to-do offspring of European monarchs would later succumb, under the banner “Grand Tour,” and likewise, later still, that of the upper classes. Such brats had it good at home but after safely returning from abroad as cultivated men of the world they could take on affairs of State at last, or some other business.

And to this day, nothing has changed. Only last year, their broad monarchist fan base could be observed on this festive occasion—now renamed Herrentag, i.e. Gentlemen’s or Fathers’ Day—donning bowler hats, carrying razor-studded canes and pushing beer barrels on handcarts across plains, fields and fens, attempting with the aid of mind-blowing substances to attain maximum enlightenment in the shortest possible time. Cheers to Geramn effectiveness!